Let Me Fall
by crazy4u
Summary: A different way to celebrate your birthday..... Happy Birthday Mitsui!


DISCLAIMER: do not own them.

Hehehe… my very own fic. 

I got the idea of the story by watching 'Bon Jovi-All About Loving You' clip video.

Then one day when I was searching for something I my friend's folder. I found this lyric. Then I started writing this fiction.

The song is from Josh Groban-Let Me Fall.

I dedicate it to my friend; hhbanana since today is her birthday, the same date Mr. Takehiko Inoue took for Mitsui's DOB

Therefore, Happy Birthday too, Mitsui!

Um… oh yeah! Thanks to Renei for helping with my um… 'small' problem with this fiction.

And thanks to Setsuna for beta-reading.

Okay… enjoy reading… and review too!

_Let me fall_

_Let me climb_

_There's a moment when fear_

_And dreams must collide_

The cold wind swept by.

Piercing my body as if saying "I'm stronger than you humans"

I had nothing to lose.

This is what I wanted to do.

_Someone I am_

_Is waiting for courage_

I looked down the side of the building.

If only I fear for heights.

Acrophobia, they say.

But I'm not.

I saw people walking on the sidewalk several stories below.

I looked at my watch.

11.50 P.M.

_The one I want_

_The one I will become_

_Will catch me.___

Thing happened in the past kept running through my mind.

Every vision pierced my body inside out.

Eyes of those people who cared about me bring chills down my spine.

I still remember all those things.

Bad and pleasant.

Whoever said that "life is like a dream" is a genius.

I totally agree with him.

My pleasant dream of my life was when I was in the basketball team 15 years ago.

My nightmare?

It was when I killed him a year ago.

The person I fought on my sophomore year in high school.

The person whom I thought was just a cheeky freshman.

The person who played basketball before, like me.

The person I envied.

Ryota Miyagi.

_So let me fall_

_If I must fall_

**"Mitsui"**

**I looked up.**

**A bespectacled was looking at me, his eyes temporarily hidden by the glare of his eyes.**

**He gave me a confuse look.**

**I could see many of questions playing in his head.**

**Even I couldn't answer all of them.**

**"Why?" **

**I just shrugged.**

**"Who are you and what have you done with the real Mitsui?"**

**I snorted.**

**"If I'm not Mitsui, who am I then?"**

**"Probably an assholes pretending to be him" he stated, sarcastically.**

**If it was meant as a joke, I'd laugh.**

**"What made you kill him?" his dark green eyes were scanning me carefully.**

**"I donno, I just felt like doing it" I answered back.**

**"Let me get this straight. You killed a man, who had the same dream as yours before just because you felt like doing it?"**

**"Heh.**** You are a smart man after all."**

**He ignored my statement.**

**"What benefits does that gives you?"  
  
  
**

**"You want it by category or alphabetically?" I said, poker-faced.**

**That was all it needs to get Kogure to look at me in disgust, anger building up in him and left me.**

_I won't need your warnings_

_I won't hear them_

My past life has been hell on Earth.

Living on drugs.

Drinking alcohols.

Smoking.

I had nowhere to go.

In your life, you dreamt that your future will be shiny as a star.

You hope that your life would be heaven on Earth.

All sweet and nice things will happen to you.

But that's all rubbish

That's children's play.

When you dreamt of something

And in order for it to come true, 

You have to catch it.

That was my mistake.

I dreamt a lot of pleasant things

But I did not catch my dreams.

_Let me fall _

_If I fall_

_Though the phoenix may_

_Or may not rise_

I still remembered.

When I was 15, I promised myself

By the time I'm 30, I'd have a wife and kids.

And I'd still be a basketball player. 

Maybe I'd be a member of All-Japan Basketball Team.

I'd make my family, teammates and even Mr. Anzai to become proud of me.

But all hopes seem to fade away.

That's why I ran.

And came here.

To do this assignment.

Since I couldn't dream anymore.

_I will dance so freely_

_Holding on to no one_

**"Tetsuo?"******

**"Hey, man" he said calmly. "It's entirely my fault"**

**I was clueless.**

**"I've gone too far. I know about your dreams Mitsui. I shouldn't have let you join our group"**

**"What are you talking about?" I asked**

**I looked at my group, straight into Nori's eyes.**

**"You killed someone, man"**

**"What is the problem with you guys?!" I roared "As far as I've seen, Tsumagari killed someone too"**

**"And he faced his punishment"**

**"So? I'd tell them I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing"**

** Tetsuo and the others sighed.**

**"I want you to meet someone", Tetsuo said.**

_You can hold me only_

_If you too will fall_

If I were an angel, I'd bless Tetsuo from Earth all the way to Heaven.

He brought me a lawyer, to defense me.

Even though there's seemed to be no hope at all.

He kept on defending me.

He blamed himself for making me followed his footsteps.

Some friends are hard to find, and Tetsuo was one of them.

When I was still a remand prisoner, waiting for the cops to bring me to the Magistrate Court to hear the preliminary hearing,

My family did visit me once.

My mom, the one I always go to when I had problems, had a pale and sunken face.

My father, a strict man, but nevertheless taught me to be a useful gentleman also had a sunken face and bags were clearly shown under his eyes.

They didn't bring my little brother and sister though.

Probably they don't want them to end up like me.

Somehow I felt fear

Fear for my parents.

How disappointed they are because of me.

Thinking what they did wrong to see their son behind bars

I didn't blame them.

They were great parents.

I was to blame.

They looked at me, hoping for an answer

I clutched my handcuffs tightly.

_Away from all these_

_Useless fears and chains.___

I didn't know what made me to run away from the prison.

I waited for a year for the High Court to choose a date for my trial.

Every week I faced my lawyer.

When I looked into his eyes.

I knew my chances are very thin.

Even if I were proof guilty, 

And my punishment were to be hang,

Though I could go to the Court of Appeal to change my punishment,

I would still run and come here.

I didn't like the options the Court would give me.

This is how I'd like it to be.

_Someone I am_

_Is waiting for my courage_

I wonder how Tetsuo would react if I told him my 'plan'.

He'd probably think I'm mad, but keep me locked in under his eyes like a hawk watching its prey.

What would Kogure said?

He'd probably be disappointed and think I was such as ass like he said to me a year ago.

My family?

I didn't want to think about them.

Not that I'm being a selfish.

It might make me want to cancel my plan.

But not this time.

This is me now.

Every decision I made is final.

No more turning back.

_The one I want_

_The one I will become_

_Will catch me.___

I looked at my watch

11.55 PM

Suddenly images of my life 15 years ago rushed into my mind.

When I was playing at the final of the Junior High Competition.

When I was losing the will to win,

There stood Mr. Anzai with his advice

**"When you give up, then the game will end"**

Words that were effective and made me go on.

That made me happy when I touched my MVP trophy.

And when I had entered Shohoku

When I was playing against Akagi

When I had twisted my ankle

When I had to stay at the hospital for a month

How I felt when I missed my first debut to play at the Kanagawa Trial

And when I had swore to never come back to the club again.

Those were the days.

They don't mean anything to me now.

I felt like the whole world is against my 'plan'

I wonder why?

The world doesn't need a guy with sins written all over his face.

Am I right?

The wind kept sweeping through me.

Every blow, the wind was getting colder.

As if it was reading my mind.

As if it was trying to stop me from my 'plan' that would make the cover for every newspaper tomorrow. 

I smiled.

But I won't change my mind. 

When I am very confident about what I will do

When I am too close to reach my 'plan'

_So let me fall_

_If I must fall_

_I won't need your warnings_

_I won't hear them._

I exhaled.

Letting all my fears and doubts leave with it. 

There is a time and a place for remembering the lessons of the past. 

What I was I can never return to, that much is certain.  
  
And right now, this, this is for the future and for the end.

  
I have a job to do.  
  
And I have to accomplish it.

Looking at my watch for one last time.

**11.59 PM**

One minute till the show's over.

No more doubts

No more hesitation.

I took a deep breath.

For a certain reason, a flick of fear is still remaining inside me.

_Let me fall_

_If I fall_

_There's no reason_

_To miss this one chance.___

My watch beeped, indicating it was 12 AM.

12 AM of 22 May.

The day I was born.

And the day I will go.

"Happy Birthday Hisashi Mitsui" I muttered to myself.

_Just let me fall._

And I did.

Leaping into the loneliness below my feet.

This is what I wanted to do.

And I accomplished it.

This is how I want to end my life.

The life of Hisashi Mitsui

A man who **did gave up.**

 –end—

I know what you're thinking….

Don't kill me….

Well at least not until I find out my results for my Mid-Term exams.

The last line… I changed it a little from what Mitsui said in Manga 28.

 "I'm Mitsui Hisashi! The man who will never gives up!"

And when I wrote down "One minute till show's over"

It actually means that life is considered as a show.  When someone dies, the show will ended

That's what Buffy said "Life a show and we all play a part…" 

Again, this is thanks to Setsuna. Thanks Sempai!

To tell you the truth… there are 2 more parts of this fic….

I will post them up… if you want me too…

That's why I need your reply… *crazy4u begs for readers' replies*

I DO accept flames… though they'd hurt me...

You see the button below? Click it.

Thanks.


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